JETwit article: Kitcher’s Café #002: Staying Connected

Article originally written for JETwit.com on August 30th, 2013. Official URL at: http://jetwit.com/wordpress/2013/08/30/kitchers-cafe-002-staying-connected/

Kitcher’s Café, a new series by Lana Kitcher (Yamanashi-ken, 2010-12) is an assortment of articles, topics and commentary written for the JET Alumni community. Lana currently serves as the Business Development Associate at Bridges to Japan, a New York-based cross-cultural consulting firm founded by JET alum Jennifer Jakubowski (Hokkaido, 1995-97). 

Although it has been a full year since my return, I continue to enjoy sharing stories and experiences with my friends from and in Japan. Recently, one of my old colleagues from Yamanashi visited New York for the first time and contacted me through facebook to meet up. I took her and her travel partner to "Penelope," a small restaurant on E 30th and Lexington Ave in New York. I was pleasantly surprised to see facebook photos of them going there for breakfast every day thereafter for the duration of their trip. It was a great and satisfying feeling to make these arrangements with her and be able to see the results.

As you are settling into a familiar state, maybe even feeling like your time in Japan was actually all a dream – you may wonder how it might be possible to keep up with your friends and colleagues that you met while in Japan. Thanks to social media, staying in touch has never been easier.

Sites like facebook and twitter, as well as new apps and technology such as Line or Skype, are perfect for keeping in touch with friends and maintaining connections over long distances. One site to consider is "Mixi," a Japanese networking site similar to "MySpace." According to The Japan Times Life section, Yahoo! Japan/Kakao Talk, Comm, Gree, and Mobage are also popular and commonly used in Japan. Although LinkedIn is not widely known in there yet, it is another option when trying to keep in touch with your professional contacts from abroad.

Along with social media networking, I would recommend keeping a list of names, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and how you are connected to each person (in case you start to forget), and make an effort to occasionally reach out to the amazing people that you met along the way. You never know – perhaps you will need a recommendation for your Masters or PhD program. Maybe someone will be visiting your region and will want to reach out to you. It is even possible that someday you’ll go back to Japan to visit and want to reconnect with the individuals that made your time there special.

Another form of communication that many underutilize (in my opinion) is "snail-mail." Why not consider sending letters back and forth to Japan, making it a special activity? Mark Vanhoenacker recently wrote an excellent article in The New York Times OpEd section, making many points I agreed with about the value in writing letters by hand entitled “Dear Emma." Personally, I have had pen pals off and on since elementary school, the old fashioned way, and continue to value this method of communication highly over using computers. "A pen pal was a window into the world's endless collisions of similarity and difference," Vanhoenacker states. "Some things remain more valuable simply because they are hard to do... When I received a letter I would treasure it for hours, waiting for the right moment on the porch or by the fireplace to unseal what had traveled across seas, the Pacific, a week, or more of my life."

In addition to agreeing with Vanhoenacker’s argument, here are a few extra points for letter writing:

Why I Love Snail Mail

1) I adore stationery, especially the kind available in Japan. Luckily I can still get my fix at Kinokuniya, a Japanese bookstore.

2) The act of writing soothes me, and it feels like a special activity. I turn on some mood music, light a candle or two and make it a quiet time for reflection. My work requires me to be online and at the computer for most of the day, and getting away from that is a welcome change of pace.

3) Letters take time to be delivered. We live in an “instant gratification” era, but this can put us on overload. When I send letters to Japan, I enjoy the time between sending the letter and waiting for a response. For me, that beats sending and receiving hundreds of texts, e-mails, tweets, messages, pokes, tags, AGH!

4) I love opening the mailbox and there it is… a letter! Not a bill, not some junk mail, but a letter. And it’s addressed to me! I'm always so excited to go to the mailbox, an action that many only think about when they're expecting birthday checks or a shipment from Amazon.

5) I get to practice my seldom-used penmanship, and feel as though I'm offered a window into the other person's personality through theirs as well.

6) Sometimes a trip to the nearest postbox is a good reason/excuse to get out of the house and take a walk.

7) Although stamps are becoming more expensive, I still enjoy choosing the different kinds and seeing the new designs. Plus, stamps don't become collectible/valuable until they've been postmarked.

8) It's more personal than an e-mail. The person on the other end spent time, thought, and energy to write to me and I appreciate that. I know I have a good relationship with the people I write with, and that it will be a long-lasting one.

9) Although the government has the right to read material of question that goes through the mail, it still feels more private and intimate. If my letter gets hacked (aka opened), I won't lose my address book or passwords.

10) I feel like a completely real, open, and better version of myself when I write by hand. The words are a direct connection from my brain through my body, printed onto a physical piece of paper. I've noticed myself saying things that are out of character with technology because it doesn't feel real and I rush the interaction. Writing forces us to take off the mask and be who we are.

What ways have you found to stay in touch with your friends in Japan? What do you like or dislike about writing letters? Please feel free to share your questions, comments, opinions and experiences with readers in the comment section below.

JETWit.com Kitcher’s Café #001: What we wish we had known – but now they can!

Kitcher’s Café is expanding! I'm now writing a section with the same name on JETWit.com. View my first post at the link, or by continuing below.

Original post from JETWit.com - July 25, 2013
"Kitcher’s Café #001: What we wish we had known – but now they can!"

Kitcher’s Café, a new series by Lana Kitcher (Yamanashi-ken, 2010-12) is an assortment of articles, topics and commentary written for the JET Alumni community. Lana currently serves as the Business Development Associate at Bridges to Japan, a New York-based cross-cultural consulting firm founded by JET alumJennifer Jakubowski (Hokkaido, 1995-97).

As I sat in my empty Yamanashi apartment, one year ago this month, a flood of feelings rushed over me. I had come full-circle, able to cram everything into two suitcases again with anxious yet excited feelings of leaving home for something unfamiliar. I had a bundle of memorabilia set aside to take with me, and pictures of the last days that I had with my students, coworkers and friends. I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye and turn the page to the next exciting chapter of my life, but I didn’t think that it was going to feel so daunting. This was the first time in my life that the next steps were utterly unplanned and unpredictable. After high school I knew I was going to college, during college I knew I wanted to work for the JET Program… but now that the JET Program was over, the next year was a completely blank slate. I was going to have to return to my hometown temporarily to figure it out, and that idea to me was terrifying.

As many of us have experienced, returning to your home country after any amount of time living abroad is more challenging than it may seem at first. They try to warn us about reverse culture shock, but we convince ourselves that “I will be different,” and “It won’t happen to me, I already know what to expect.” Some people really don’t experience any strange or frustrating feelings when returning home, but for individuals like myself, the first year back may be a challenging and rocky road.Many of the JETs that are in Japan right now are clearing out their desks, packing up their apartments, attending farewell parties, and being brought to tears by the students and coworkers that shared many moments with them this past year (or five). Where once was an unfamiliar, foreign and strange place, has become normal life. Do they realize that many of them are about to leave Japan, bound for an even stranger land – the one that they once called home?

As JET alumni, what do you wish someone had told you during your final days in Japan? What are some of the words of wisdom that you wish you had known before coming back? How can we help these transitioning JET participants, soon to join the alumni community? My advice to them would be this:

Try not to have unrealistically high expectations of how awesome going home will be, and don’t give up on yourself when things get tough. There may be challenges like living with family members, trying to find a job, readjusting to the foods and customs of your culture, but take them in doses and remember to step back and breathe when things might start to feel frustrating.

Also, the job market may still be a little more complicated than you are expecting. For many, the traditional ways of finding a job are now becoming the least successful. If you’ve spent weeks looking for jobs online and haven’t had any luck, start branching out. Talk to everyone you know and tell them your situation. Use networking groups, meetups, LinkedIn, and informational interviews. Meeting people in person and talking to those already in your networks is likely going to be your key into your next position. Also consider picking up a copy of What Color Is Your Parachute by Richard Nelson Bolles at your local library. When I was actively seeking help and networking in my community, this was the number one resource that my friends recommended. It gave me some practical statistical information to help me understand my odds of getting a job by applying online, and helped me think of new ways to approach the job market.

What kind of advice do you wish you had heard as you were finishing up the JET Program? Leave your comments in the space below, and give the new returnees a leg up as their tenure as an active JET Program participant comes to a close.

You can find out more about Reverse Culture Shock by reading Surviving in Japan: 10 Ways To Prepare For Reverse Culture Shock And Leaving Japan by Ashley Thompson (Shizuoka-ken, 2008-10), Community Manager for Nihongo Master and editor of Surviving in Japan.

-L