I started packing up my room today. I'm doing it little by little so that I'm not completely overwhelmed at the end. I am having trouble letting go of some of my things, even though I know I won't be using them for a while, or ever again. For example, I have a calendar that I used all year in Japan for my planning and assignments. I won't use it again, but it feels like a journal and I am unable to let go of it. Another example, there are things I have in my room that would be great for an apartment down the line. I won't be able to take them to Japan with me because it is expensive to ship, but I think I'll be able to use them when I move back from Japan and find an apartment of my own. These things include coffee maker, mini christmas tree, coffee table, curtains, pillows, drawer set, etc. I think there will be places to store some things while I am away, but getting them home (or storing them until I leave) may also be a bit of an inconvenience. Or things that I have had for four years, but are still usable so I'm having trouble letting go of those as well! (Towels, dish rags, etc.) I'll figure it all out in the end. I suppose my biggest problem is just that I don't like spending money (in the future) on items that I still have in the present. I have decided to sell my bike (which is not in great condition anyway...) and my mini fridge to people who will still be at Denison next year.
Packing up my stuff has started to make the realization of leaving this home really sink in however. This may be the last time I call Ohio my home residence, and is also the last time I'll be in such a structured environment school wise. Graduate school is still school of course, but usually by that time people are not living on campus, or are only going to school part-time, or whatever. I wrote my last school paper last semester without even realizing it, and I took my last test of my Denison career yesterday. Some underclassman have probably already left campus who I will not say goodbye to, and it feels weird that to say goodbye to some will be so easy, and to others so difficult. I prefer easy goodbyes, but that's because the difficult ones obviously hurt. Well, this is a part of life after-all. I will have to say goodbye to Croton again in two months, and then I'll have to say goodbye to all my friends in Japan in a year or two as well. I suppose if I had stayed in Croton all my life, goodbyes wouldn't be as big a part of it, but I prefer to move around, meet new people, see new things, and goodbyes are just a part of all that!
It's funny how it can be simultaneously easy and hard...
Lana
