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| Sakura, さくら、桜 |
The Japan chapter of my life winds down, and my stomach churns as my emotions fluctuate from day to day. One day I count down how many days left on my calendar until I hop on the plane at Narita and return to NY. The next day I walk around my apartment, feeling nostalgic for something that's not even gone yet. When I think about never living in Japan long-term again and saying goodbye to all of my students and friends here, a stinging feeling wells up in my eyes. But then I think about everything I've missed for two years back home, and I get jittery with excitement to return and start the next phase.
I realize that these swinging emotions are natural, and that I'm certainly not the first or last person to feel torn between my new home and my old one. Deep down I know that going back to the US, pursuing the next step in my career, and being closer to friends and family are what I want in the next step of my life. But despite knowing what I want, how do I effectively cope with these kinds of changes, and embrace the conflicting emotions?
I expect the first 6 months or so in America to be difficult. I won't have a place to call my own, no steady income, a feeling of lack of independence, and unfamiliar culture and customs around me. I ask friends and family to please be patient with me during this period. Things in the US have probably changed while I was away that I know nothing about, and I may have changed more than I realized too. The way I speak is without a New York accent (for the time being at least), and I accidentally pick up my bowls when I eat. Hopefully we can discuss these differences, and share our experiences from the past two years in stories and pictures.
I can't wait to see you all soon! The page turns, one chapter ends and the next begins!
See you in just over a month.
Lana
PS. After I returned home from Japan in University, I stopped writing in my livejournal blog since my adventure in Japan was over. This year I'd like to continue writing in my blog in hopes that I can continue to reach out to people in some way. I haven't decided what I'll write about then, but I think I'll figure all that out as it comes. I look forward to writing , and I hope you're there to join me in the next chapter as well!
