I find it hard to treat Japanese people to a meal!
The woman who's desk is next to mine is a long-term substitute for another teacher. She is teaching Japanese. The old teacher will come back sometime at the end of November, but since we've had a lot of time sitting next to one another we've talked a lot about whatever. This and that. Mostly I just ask her to clarify things in the meeting, or things written down on the daily schedule. She's been very helpful, and is always willing to answer my questions. She's in her 40s or 50s (not really sure...) and her son is 19, so she has a mom's personality and treats me like a daughter at times.
Since sometimes I don't get to meet as often as I'd like with my tutor in Kofu, I asked the Japanese teacher if sometime she'd be able to tutor me. I offered her a price, and she said no, so I offered her coffee and snacks from wherever we go, so she said ok.
This evening we went to a family restaurant called "Jonathan's." It was a nice lesson. We ate more than we did Japanese, but she doesn't know very much English so the whole conversation was in Japanese. We did get to some of my questions though. At the end, I took the receipt and she wouldn't let me pay. I tried several times to pay, but she used excuses like, "But I'm a mother" and "don't worry, I have money." I tried to let her pay half and she said no. I tried to tell her I'd pay next time and she said no. She asked me to teach her son English though... so maybe if we do an exchange (1 hr for 1 hr) she'll do that. We'll see. Next time we meet, she'll bring him along. What should I do in this situation? Should I just pay? Should I let her pay? How can I get away from the situation without being rude?
Anyway, I think that learning Japanese is among my highest priorities this year since it's something I neglected last year. I'd really like to pass the 2級 test.
That's all for now! Band practice after work tomorrow.
Lana
Is she elder than you are? if one is elder, we usually do not pay the bill for her/him. I think she felt awkward to make you pay because you are younger, and in Japan, those ppl who make someone who is younger than you are pay are considered to be "rude".(unless you guys are friends). Also, some people could be offended if you say you will pay for her/him because he/she thinks you said it because you think he/she does not have money. It is just a culture thing. Do not worry, I am sure she understood why you offered the bill. As long as you show your appreciation, you are fine!
ReplyDeleteOh, and next time you see her, try to pay your own bill first. (not hers). If she said she would pay both your and her bills, you should just say thank you to her and let her pay.
ReplyDelete